We’ve always said that we would wait a year after marriage before having kids.  Well, guys, we are approaching our first anniversary!

In the past few months we realized that we had different definitions of what “waiting a year” meant.  Matthew was thinking: In a year we’ll have a conversation about getting pregnant.  I was thinking: In a year, we will try to get pregnant.  It’s kind of a big difference – but we worked it out.

The picture above is my LAST birth control pill!  We’re buying a ticket for the Baby Train!  ETA: unknown.

The more personal, the more universal

Okay, so listen. Many, many families – maybe most families, choose not to share this kind of information.  Conventional wisdom these days is that these are private matters, and hopeful parents should wait until the third trimester of a pregnancy before sharing any news with the general public.  There are really, really good reasons for that, and it is a very healthy choice for the families who make it.  So much can go wrong: fertility and conception are tricky and fraught topics.  Pregnancy itself can be challenging.  Things can and do happen at every stage of the process and the emotional impact (positive and negative) is staggering.  Plus, there are lots of personal decisions to make!  Choosing to keep all of that private for as long as possible can be containing and protective.

We’re choosing something else.  We want to share this process with you.  You can often hear us talk about “the more personal, the more universal.”  Meaning, most of us are loath to discuss our most private experiences, but they’re actually universally experienced.  Fertility, conception, pregnancy, birth… these are all universal experiences.  YOU have in some way been touched by these experiences, and maybe you’ve always wanted to talk about it, or you have knowledge to offer, or you want to see what the experience is like for someone else!  Well, hi there!

This is important: we know it’s risky to do it this way.  We might hear things that we don’t want to, or you might disagree with our choices, or things could take a long time or go wrong. There so many possibilities:  we could experience frustration, confusion, fear, grief, and – this is the goal – joy and love!  Whatever comes, we want to share it with you!  There is a lot we can offer each other.  So let’s do this.

PS: If you want to see a great model of this kind of openness can be done well check out Andrea Scher’s posts on the topic, from over 10 years ago.  She is inspiring, is now the mama of two little boys, and STILL brings all her beautiful vulnerable realness to the world.