Oh, October 2015, you have been a difficult month.

Rather than my typical chronological update, let’s just dive right into the sadness of this month.

The month started with two memorial services: for a family friend, Chris Way, and for Matthew’s cousin-once-removed, Bev Dagget.  Two remarkable women who had big impacts in their communities.

Then midway through the month I miscarried.  That’s been really shitty, and I wrote a post about what happened.  The weeks that followed have been mostly okay, but I have times where I feel unbelievably down and alone.  I’m grateful that I’m well-loved, well-supported, well-informed, and generally well, because the [little-D] depression tends to be pretty brief and I’ve had to work hard on honoring the sadness and allowing it to happen rather than having to work hard on getting out of it.  Feeling sad is unfamiliar to me, and I’m so grateful for that.

On the topic of gratitude, it hasn’t been all bad.  In fact, there have been more bright spots than dark – even if it’s been a harder to bask in the light lately.  The rest of the post is all good stuff.  Really!

The Airstream was at the beach on the south coast for the first half of the month, and we had a few beautiful visits down there.  Including a 4-day stretch for our second anniversary.  I was so genuinely over-the-moon happy and connected with Matthew during those days.

 We celebrated Rachel and Alex’s engagement in a beautiful party I hope to post about soon.

I got up and running at work, and I like my clients and am getting more familiar and comfortable with the culture of the agency.  I also reconnected with some colleagues from my last job, which was wonderful and important to me.

We took weekly swing and tango lessons with Matthew’s dance guru.

We spent a night in a lighthouse in Fall River which was an unusual and cool experience. 

And, of course, we wrapped up the month by celebrating Halloween. Can you guess who I am? She lives in an old house all covers in vines.