Let me tell you about November and December.

Look at those colors!

First I died my hair pink and purple.  This means different things depending on the moment: I am a unicorn or My Little Pony.  I’m more badass than anyone ever thought.  Or maybe I’m just as cool as you suspected.  The trend of colored hair is basically over.  Whatever it means, I love it.  And I’m super grateful to Tarah at Serenity Spa and Salon for her mad skillz and also to my sister, Ashley, for the encouragement (and for bringing Tarah into my life)!

My cheerleader

Shortly after that I returned to unemployment.  In retrospect I’m really glad that that job was short-lived.  The clients and other clinicians were wonderful, but I think the culture of the agency and I were a terrible match.  As it was happening, though, I was miserable: I hated how it all ended, I was mad at the agency and mad at myself and feeling pretty bad about my career.

Now, I recognize that all of my recent posts have been about how amazing my husband, family, and friends are, but I’m going to say it again here:  I’m so fucking grateful to have such remarkably supportive, insightful, loving, wonderful people in my life.

These two!  Looking off in to the distance, towards the future! (The future is in the upper right of your screen)

I took the encouragement from my people and the mess of my career and I did what I’ve been talking about doing for YEARS: I launched a private practice!  It is very slow going, but it is going!  So that’s super SUPER exciting, and if you have ideas about referrals, let’s talk.

Then the Holidays!

Tony the Reindeer

We spent three weekends in a row celebrating with Matthew’s family: first Thanksgiving, then a big family holiday brunch where we exchanged gifts while his sister was in town, then a quiet family celebration to exchange presents.  Our niece, Julia, is totally into doctors, so we had a great time with her doing checkups.  I made Mandy a quilt.

Julia under the quilt I made.  I like this photo because the square right in the middle is a scrap from a dress I made her, and the orange polka-dot one is from a cushion on our couch, and the while and yellow one is from a quilt I made for the airstream.

We got a big tree and decorated.  I got sort of obsessed with baking challah.  We went to holiday parties and visited with friends.  We sent and received holiday cards.

CHALLAH!

We hosted my family’s traditional Christmas Eve taco dinner at our house, (it was great!) and on Christmas Day we visited both of our families.

I spent the very end of the year prepping for a big party on New Years Day, but you’ll have to wait until next month to hear about it.

Project Update: Back at it

I got a clean bill of health from the doctor, and ovulated at the end of December.  Fingers crossed.  I’m currently playing that game I like to call Could That Be a Sign of Early Pregnancy?! (It goes like this: “My knee itches, Could That Be a Sign of Early Pregnancy?!” or “I’m cold, Could That Be a Sign of Early Pregnancy?!” or “I like cheese, Could That Be a Sign of Early Pregnancy?!”).  It’s great fun, and I’m trying to delay answering the title question by peeing on a stick for awhile.  Because reasons.

No, really:  Because I think that knowing you’re pregnant SO FUCKING EARLY is just as weird as it is amazing.  The technology I can buy at the bodega or CVS is way way beyond what they had a generation ago, let alone two generations ago.  When I tell older women about my miscarriage experience the conversation inevitably goes to this topic of undiagnosed miscarriage.  While I have a hard time imagining thinking that I could ever think that my physical pain (not to mention more graphic parts of that night) were normal, I do know that it would have been a very very very different experience if I had not known I was pregnant, had not been to the doctor multiple times, had not held the anticipation of a future-baby for all those weeks.

If my period doesn’t come in the next week or so, I will pee on a stick.  Right now, I’m holding the anticipation of a future pregnancy, not a future-baby. If it didn’t happen this cycle, I think I’d rather get that message from my body (by getting my period) than by staring at a piece of plastic I just peed on and straining to see a line and wondering what it means if I don’t.

See?  Reasons.

I’ll keep you posted!